The last time I had my house decorated was five years ago. It was quite an undertaking too. My chum mentioned that a pal of hers was coming back to dear old Blighty for a few weeks to do a decorating project. I quipped ‘send him here – there’s a project needing attention . . .’ Well, that started a ball rolling. She spoke to said friend who said he’d have a spare two weeks and could oblige, so we arranged he’d stay over in the spare room to cut…